Monday, November 13, 2006

They say you aren't supposed to post when you are mad.

I'm mad at game consoles right now. I'm mad at all of them. I'm especially angry with the new gen of consoles hitting the stores this week, but I first want to talk about my good friend the xbox 360. aka in my home as the shitbox360.

You see, my shitbox took a dump about 2 months ago and I just haven't had the strength to give Microsoft's customer service another call since then. At the time when it gave me the well known 3 lights of doom one random morning and never turning back on, I was doing alot of overtime and just didn't have the time between the OT and the whole getting married thing to deal with the problem.

Now I am at the crossroads.

The geniuses over Msoft, and I do really mean that... I mean they must be brilliant to market something that is as inert as the cat litter box near my computer desk for over 400 bucks to people like me who are looking for the next level of gaming entertainment... I digress....

The luminaries at Microscam have told me that they must charge me $150.00 to repair my system. Half the price of a brand new 360. When I was kind enough to point out that they were supposedly repairing their defective systems for free the representative finally asked me for my serial number and manufacture date on my machine. Lo' and behold it was made after the magic date of the line of xbox360s made with defects. It couldnt be defective too right? I mean that would be impossible. I have co workers who have had to return up to 5 xbox360s in order to get one that doesnt break and give the 3 lights of doom. Mine couldn't possibly be having that problem it was made in february, not december!

So what choice do I have at this point? Pay for the fix, buy a new one, or don't get one and own the most expensive paperweight ever. I mean this quite literally, it is holding down papers this very moment! It has LESS use than the cat box on the other side of me. At least the cat box can hold shit in it! The 360 holds nothing but broken dreams!

They really are geniuses over there. They designed this machine from the ground up to be like the puzzle box in Hellraiser. Don't try to open it up, or you will be thrown into a seething pit of madness. The moment I heard that was being extorted for $150.00 or be forced to buy a new machine, I started opening that fucker. And let me tell ya. It is near impossible to get in. I used tutorials from all over the internet, youtube, you name it. I rolled the bones in a plate of silver and bat's blood, but this fucker would not open. They make it nigh impossible to get into your xbox360 without nearly breaking the fucking thing. I am like alot of you, I know a thing or two about computers. I bet you anything I can get in there, get the stupid foil off of my cpu and call it a day, but NO. I BLED trying to open it. I seethed, I cursed, I roiled in anguish. I could not get it OPEN.

So here I am, two months later. My xbox 360 has dust on it. I stand before a PS3 and Wii launch this week, and I have to make a decision. Ante up and fix this thing, or put my money on another system that I may or may not end up disappointed with. If I forget about repairing this 360, it's like throwing around a $1000.00 in the fire when you add up my games that are just collecting dust. How disheartening the whole thing is.

So there is the other option. Shelf the 360 for now and invest in a hot new system. You know the ones. The ones you won't be able to buy. The one's that grandmas will stab your mom in the face for just to resell on ebay. Those systems.

I have the choice of the PS3 and the Wii.

Oh boy what a choice.

There is $600.00 mega system which sounds great on paper, but sounds like hell on earth when you think about trying to actually find one that is for sale for an actual human being intending to play it.

Then there is the repackaged gamecube with a gimmick interface.

I will write more on them individually. In fact, I just have too much to write about. See what happens when you coop me up for a couple months?

2 comments:

Nick McLaren said...

/sarcasm
Extortion from MICROSOFT? Surely you must be confused.
/sarcasm off

I hate to say it man, but thanks to good ol' Microcrap, it's very likely that gone are the days where you can buy a console for $300-$400 bucks and have it never die. Not to MENTION that it's their fault that we can't PRE-ORDER consoles anymore. Stupid fucktards!

Honestly though, what can you do? Never game again on a console? Eh, you know that's not so likely. So pick your poison and buy the extended service agreement at the store so at least you won't have to deal with paying for a replacement.

Oh, and as far as myself goes, I'm planning on attempting to camp the Wii spawn Sunday morning, primarily for it's inexpensiveness and that whole Zelda thing.. Funny how a few magical titles draw me in every time... but hey, it's cheap enough and I can keep the girlfriend happy with the virtual console stuff (she's a Super Mario World fan). Of course, I WILL be getting a PS3, but not until the whole supply/demand thing has evened out. So probably not until early next year... I'm not so worried about the price, so long as the damn thing doesn't spontaneously combust like the crapbox360.

The Dread Pirate Guy said...

I actually played the Wii without a maddened crowd, and as gimmicky as the controller is, it becomes weirdly "right" after a few minutes. I'm all about the virtual console. It gives a chance for those who wanted to develop 8 and 16 bit games a chance with the openness of new content.